a day to think and work

so this is a strange day for me. this morning when i was leaving to take isa to school i met a gentleman that was raking leaves next door. when i saw him, for some reason, i was compelled to go speak to him. so i walked over and introduced myself. he was hispanic and spoke in broken english. he was really nice. the kind of guy that seemed likely to help someone out if they needed it. but on his face i clearly saw years of hard work, pain and life showing. our yard needs cleaning badly, so i offered to pay him to blow the leaves away from the house into the yasd so i can mow them up. he said, "no money. happy to do it." still, i was determined to pay him. so i left for school. when i got back home to change for work, i saw him working in our yard so i went to help him pick up sticks so we could get started. he was working in our yard while he waited for the guys to come help him again in the neighbor's yard. when our neighbor got here, he said that they would all be happy to help clean our yard, and that, no, we could not pay them.

i had to come inside for a while to handle some work stuff. so i started cleaning our house and thinking. i cleaned in silence just praying and thinking. ange and i are adopting form ethiopia and this experience has been so much harder but better than i thought it would be. so i find myself praying and lost in thoughts often.

well, i felt like i needed a few minutes to break from it all so i sat down to eat lunch and got to listening to jon foreman's cd's. they are really well crafted and written songs. it is a nice surprise of music from the frontman of switchfoot. well, he has song called "sombody's baby" that really penetrated to my core. it is a sad song folks. this is not one that you listen to in order to start your day. but it is an honest and real song about a homeless woman that finds herself alone and without hope. it exists in this world more than we think, and now more than ever before, i am aware of that.

as i listened, i was consumed by the thought that somewhere in ethiopia, there is a woman that is either pregnant or has recently had a baby that she will give up. she does not know what is going to happen. she may not have much hope for herself, but i imagine that the decision to give up her child is one that comes with whatever remaining hope she has. it is a hope that her baby will not have to grow up in extreme poverty, disease and malnutrition. i imagine that she is holding out hope that there is a God that loves her child and will take care of her. so i sit here, excited beyond words about adopting a baby and bringing them into our family. and as i do, i am only begining to realize that adoption is about so much more than the life of a child. it is about the fact that deep down inside of us, we all still have hope. it is the hope of God manifested through Christ. it is the hope of a woman somewhere that life will be better for her child than it was for her. it is the hope of a nation that is wracked with poverty and crimes we cannot imagine, that one way or another, life has to get better.

so i sit here, praying for the moms around the world that are wondering how this life of is going to play out for them. i sit here praying for the mom that will make the gut wrenching decision to turn her baby over to hope. i pray that she somehow knows that our family is prayng for her. that she is loved by God, and that yes, He has a plan for all of us. not just here. not just there. hope for all of us.

it has been a strange day. but, it has been a great day, and one that i needed.